Shackled, head bowed, Jamiel Graves walked into a Norfolk court room today to be arraigned for Phylicia Robinson's murder.
"Her birthday is this Sunday. And we're not going to see her. I'm making funeral arrangements instead of a birthday party. He needs to pay."
Family members spoke to NewsChannel 3's Jessica Larche.
The Norfolk mother had been missing nearly two months. Last week - Graves' mother found Robinson's body in his closet.
Graves and Robinson lived on opposite sides of the same duplex.
"I think he was obsessed. She didn't know him. I want to make it clear. They're neighbors. There's no relationship. My sister did not know him."
The judge informed Graves that he would be getting court appointed counsel. Graves then told the judge he didn't want an attorney.
But the judge said it's in his best interest to have one.
Deputies quickly escorted Graves out of the courtroom.
"Today we get to see the person who took her life. It's hard."
Phylicia's sister missed the arraignment by just minutes.
She came to the back of the jail - hoping to get a glimpse of Graves.
She wanted to ask him one question.
"Why? Why? Why didn't you take your own life? Why hers?"
Graves is also charged with murdering Mandi Myers. She was the mother of his children. Police say Graves admitted to strangling her.
Mandi's sister found her body.
Mandi Myers served in the Army Reserves and later became a nurse. Myers and Phylicia Robinson did not know each other.