On Monday (Aug. 1), JoJo Fletcher is going to pick the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Out of 26 suitors, this is the lucky guy that “The Bachelorette” picked to be her one and only. While this is usually a very exciting situation, audiences can already tell that this upcoming “After the Final Rose” special is doomed to deliver bad news. It’s safe to say that Cycle 12 of this long-running reality TV series did not find its next Trista and Ryan.
Unless our conspiracy theory regarding JoJo and Jordan Rodgers is correct, it seems the 25-year-old real estate developer has fallen in love with two of the most untrustworthy jerks when it comes to husband material.
Jordan so badly wants to be famous for doing nothing — you can see it in his eyes. Or his hair. Both being terrible attributes of the guy whose only redeeming quality is … well, we’ll get back to you on that.
Then there’s Robby. The walking and talking Ken doll who apparently broke up with his longtime girlfriend Hope Higginbotham after finding out he got cast on the show. While he denies this, and told JoJo he was over a four-year relationship after just three months, (excuse us, but no), viewers inherently can’t trust a word that comes out of this guy’s mouth.
However, Robby was able to talk his way into JoJo’s parents’ heart. Previews reveal Robby asking Mr. Fletcher permission to marry his daughter, an act that earns him Joseph and Soraya Fletcher’s approval over his competition, Jordan.
Actually, Fletcher’s family is not a fan at all of the not as famous or talented brother of Aaron Rodgers. JoJo’s mother meets him and immediately deems him as “a player.” And the fact that he doesn’t ask permission to marry JoJo is something her parents and siblings felt was rude and disrespectful.
But honestly, it doesn’t matter what JoJo’s family thinks. In stereotypical rebellious daughter fashion, JoJo is going to pick Jordan regardless. And she’s going to have to learn the lesson of why it’s a waste of time and energy chasing guys who can’t commit the hard way. On national TV. In front of millions of viewers. Oh, JoJo.
During the “After the Final Rose” special, things will get even sadder. We assume that JoJo and Jordan are going to announce that they’ve already split, that the engagement is off. While we’re hoping to be wrong in this prediction, “Bachelorette” rumor whisperer Reality Steve supports this conclusion, as well.
Of course, they’re friends! Zap2it’s conspiracy theory is looking more and more accurate. And JoJo is predictably going to lament over whether or not she should’ve picked Robby instead. A question for which the answer is still an unequivocal no. Robby was the first to say “I love you” only because he’s been in a relationship for so long, he doesn’t remember how to date. Being single is a scary foreign aspect to him. He would’ve said “I love you” to any “Bachelorette” if it it enabled him to quickly fill the void of his ex.
So, grab the tissues and a bottle of wine. This season finale is going to be very difficult to watch. And the $80,000 Neil Lane diamond Life & Style reports Jordan bought for JoJo in Thailand will most likely be returned.
“The Bachelorette” finale airs on Monday, Aug. 1 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. The “After the Final Rose” special follows immediately afterwards.