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Intimate partner violence is happening in homes throughout Hampton Roads

Domestic violence, scared woman
Posted at 6:11 AM, Mar 23, 2023
and last updated 2023-03-23 17:58:23-04

NORFOLK, Va. — Bellamy Gamboa, a mother of four from Virginia Beach, disappeared in 2018.

Her sister, Charisse Gamboa, said volunteers, friends and family spent weeks searching for her, but it was already too late. Bellamy was killed by her ex-boyfriend, Lamont Johnson, who is also the father of her twins.

Intimate partner violence is abuse or aggression that goes on in a romantic relationship, according to the CDC. Advocates say abuse is about power and control. And it’s happening in homes throughout Hampton Roads.

Charisse said Bellamy and Johnson lived together to co-parent. She added that her sister wanted her children to have both parents in the house, and she did not fear her ex-boyfriend.

In 2021, a judge ruled a confession made by Johnson could be played during the trial. In the taped confession, Johnson told investigators he threw Bellamy down the stairs during an argument and choked her in front of their young twins.

In another recording, Johnson told investigators he put Bellamy's body into a dumpster in Chesapeake. During the trial, prosecutors said her body was incinerated into ash at a trash facility in Portsmouth.

Johnson shows the detectives on video where he parked and how he moved the body to the dumpster. He had to remove trash to create room before placing her body in the dumpster.

“I knew that there was some type of controlling and but I didn't learn about the violence until after the murder,” said Charisse. She said her sister had previously called 911 on Johnson.

He is currently serving a 25-year sentence.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that more than half of the 541 homicides in Virginia in 2020 were committed by an intimate partner, 70% of which involved a firearm.

The coalition also found that on average, about 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner.

Neisha Himes is the founder of the G.R.O.W. Foundation, a nonprofit that helps provide survivors of domestic violence with resources and services.

“I am a survivor of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, myself," said Himes. “I was in a very toxic violent relationship for about five years.”

“Abuse is about power and control and when that person is leaving or trying to leave that perpetrator of abuse is losing their power,” explained Himes.

Robin Gauthier is the Executive Director of the Samaritan House, a nonprofit that helps survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, human trafficking and homelessness. Since 1984, they have provided housing and support services to the community. They currently have 14 safe houses for emergency shelter to house people in need.

Gauthier said abuse comes in many different forms, and it can get worse with time. She said it can start with name calling and isolation. An abuser can also try to control their partner by not allowing them to work or spend time with friends and family. She said the abuser could then start physically harming their victim.

“Things like hitting, punching, kicking, strangulation, and it can end with serve bodily harm, stabbing, or shooting or the person may die,” said Gauthier.

She said there is a common denominator among abusers: control.

"They want to control everything. They want to control your money. They want to control, your employment, education, your friends, your family and your support system. They want to isolate you," said Gauthier.

She added that abusers want to have their victims alone so others don’t see what is going on.

Himes said many people think of a domestic violence victim as a person with black eyes and bruises, but there are stages beforehand, like gas lightning and love bombing.

Advocates agree that leaving can be emotionally difficult.

“Often, victims don’t want to separate from their abuser. They just want the violence to stop,” said Gauthier.

Leaving the environment can also be financially difficult, especially with children and pets.

“It’s more difficult to leave because rents have escalated,” said Gauthier.

Many people can not afford to live alone. There are also issues with custody of children.

“It is a problem that exists throughout the country, throughout the world,” said Himes, “Regardless of your age, race, nationality, financial background. It has no zip code, no face. It affects us all."

Below is a list of domestic violence resources:
G.R.O.W. Foundation
Samaritan House
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Virginia Department of Social Services