NORFOLK, Va. — You hear you have cancer or any other potentially life-threatening illness—when facing that, what role can faith and hope play? That's the question I'm asking as I continue to share my prostate cancer journey.
In addition to my upcoming radiation treatments, there's another challenge: how to respond mentally or emotionally.
It's a challenge Hampton resident Charlie Hill found himself facing.
"I had three daughters and they were asking questions like, 'We lost mama to cancer, are you going to die too?'" Hill told me. "Those questions were real and those questions got my attention. And I didn't know what was going to happen..."
It was more than 20 years ago when Hill received his prostate cancer diagnosis. The widower, who has since remarried, said he didn't have many answers back then. However, he did know one thing.
"I believe in my case and I just simply, you know the old saying, put this in the hands of the Lord," he said. "I did!"
Health
Kurt Williams makes a treatment choice for his prostate cancer
I asked Trabelus Whitfield, one of my pastors at Coastal Community Church, about this.
"Having hope gives you energy," Whitfield said. "It helps you face what you're facing each and every day. A positive outlook, whether it's hope or some other thing, definitely helps our bodies heal."
Dr. Mark Shaves, the radiation oncologist at Sentara Norfolk General who'll be overseeing my care, agreed with Pastor Whitfield's thoughts.
"I believe that positive thinking helps," said Dr. Shaves.
Dr. Shaves says over the past 25 years, he's treated thousands of prostate cancer patients.
"Some of those patients had advanced disease and had a chance at care, but a low likelihood of that," he told me. "Several of those approached that situation very optimistically. I've been following them, some of them for well over 10 years and they're cured!"
He says he admired their positive outlook as they battled cancer.
"I tell them 'You are my poster child—this is fantastic!' It was like it was ordained that they were going to do well in the first place and I really applaud that mindset."
James Hoy, the head chaplain at Sentara Norfolk General, believes a positive mindset is essential.
"Over the years, there have been numerous evidence-based studies on the impact of religious coping and spirituality showing that outcomes are better," Hoy said.
That's not the only connection Hoy believes is important when facing a challenging health diagnosis.
"I think having community, having meaningful relationships that say you're not going to be alone through this, [is important]," he said.
I asked Hoy about people who wish to keep their health battle private.
"I think there is some risk with that because I think we are created to be in relationship," he told me. "And when you cut people out of that, you're cutting some of the resources for your health."
Whitfield also believes there's power in sharing.
"When you do share it, not only do you invite other people to come alongside you, but you get to find other people who've gone through similar things," he said.
Watch previous coverage: Kurt Williams makes a treatment choice for his prostate cancer
Whitfield said my journey exemplifies the power of sharing.
"I bet when you shared your diagnosis you probably met people... who have been there. And the fact that they survived it, it gave you hope," he said.
I told him that's true, and it is very encouraging.
Health
Kurt Williams gives glimpse behind the curtain with prostate cancer diagnosis
Hoy also cautions against a mindset of, "expect little and you won't be disappointed."
"It feels safe to say: if you don't expect much, then you won't be surprised," he said. "That's an unfortunate way to live life."
Hoy believes the key is how you approach hope.
"If your hope is on a specific outcome, there's always potential for disappointment," he said. "[The key is having hope] in your belief system, whether it's God being with you [or] whether it's your prominent relationships being with you and not being alone."
Hoy also believes prayer is a powerful tool.
"I think it's still okay to pray for healing, to pray for 100% clear tests, absolutely," he said. "But let that not be the only thing we pray for... whether it's just being at peace, being content with whatever the outcome is or it's actual physical healing... we're good either way."
