VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — When survivors of domestic violence leave their abusers, that can bring a host of financial obstacles. And we're hearing from someone who knows that all too well—- someone who has walked in their shoes. Just listen to Trish Coffey, a local mortgage loan officer with OVM Financial.
"Many times they're escaping with the clothes on their back, and they haven't managed finances recently because that is one of the aspects of control the abusers will use." Coffey is also the President of Women Against Violence and a huge supporter of Samaritan House and the work they do with helping survivors of domestic abuse.
"So they really are starting from ground zero and have no idea what to do or how to manage a budget. They don't have any resources for themselves, so it's really starting from scratch. They have everything at Samaritan House that these survivors need to become independent"' says Coffey.
Coffey said the Samaritan House helps survivors with job readiness, connections to employers, and financial literacy. "We help with interviewing skills, help them put together a resume based on past experience. We know a lot of people in the community, so we're able to connect them with people who might be hiring. We also have a donation center where there is a boutique of professional clothing. They can go in and pick and choose what they want to wear so that they're able to present themselves in a way that will help get them hired."
Coffey says Samaritan House also offers financial literacy courses, "We talk about budgeting, how much, you know, based on your pay, how much of that should go to housing, how much should be put away for utilities and extras and things that, you know, expenses that change month to month. So it's really, taking someone as though they had no financial knowledge at all, and they could start from scratch and learn these skills."
Another financial challenge they help with says Coffey—-housing, "So as soon as they come in they're placed into either emergency shelter or permanent housing, and they can be there for up to a year or longer if if necessary and through that time we're going to help them With any credit issues. We have relationships with a lot of landlords in the area, so even after they leave our shelters, we can connect them with people who are a little more forgiving in terms of credit history and a little more flexible for rentals."
For Coffey, the work is deeply personal. She said she knows firsthand how difficult it is to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship. "I'm a survivor myself and I know how hard it is to get back out there and get back on your feet when you're leaving an abusive situation."
"So when I finally left my abuser, my first husband, I had been a stay at home mom for a year, so I had no job, I had no money, and I had to get out and I had to get my kids out. I didn't know about Samaritan House and I wish I had, but I had to call my grandmother and ask for a loan so that I could go put a security deposit on a house and escape. And she was able to help me, thank goodness, but many people don't have that.1246 So If I'd known about Samaritan House at the time, I definitely would have reached out."
Coffey said financial fear is one of the biggest barriers keeping victims from leaving abusive situations.
"Absolutely, that's probably one of the biggest factors. They're afraid of not being able to survive on their own financially."
"And that's why it's so important to me that the community understands that this resource is here, and also that the community understands, again, the gravity of the situation when victims are trying to leave. Because if you've never been in that situation, you don't fully grasp all of the ramifications that a survivor's going through when they're trying to get back on their feet. But even the smallest amount can help. It can help provide groceries for a week. It can help with utilities. It can help with any number of things. So it's important that the community understands that every little bit helps, and when we can all pool our resources and come together to get these people independent again, you know, that's, it's very gratifying to see them get get beyond this abuse and heal."
Anyone in need of Samaritan House's resources or who would like to donate to support survivors can find information by clicking here:
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