VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — For Navy veteran and military spouse Iliana Frintner, Memorial Day is deeply personal. She says the day should be centered on remembrance, not celebration.
"Memorial Day coming up — it's not just a day that people get off from work or school. This is honoring and taking a moment to reflect on those that have lost their lives. And for Veterans Day, that's the time of celebration — you know, we want to thank the service members that are currently serving, we want to thank veterans, and really show a lot of respect," Frintner said.
Inside the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at The Up Center in Virginia Beach, clinicians work every day with veterans and families carrying the emotional weight of military service.
"Our clinic, we service active duty veterans and family members," Clinic Director Tanetta Hassell said.
Hassell says for many veterans, Memorial Day can reopen painful memories tied to losing fellow service members.
"Survivor's guilt is a common thing that happens for those that might've lost their battle buddies or people that have been out there doing the work with them," Hassell said.
For military spouses and loved ones, supporting veterans through those moments can be emotional as well.
"I know within the community that my husband is in — he has lost — so it's important for me to kind of step back and give him that space," Frintner said.
Hassell says grief connected to military loss often looks different from person to person, and healing does not happen overnight.
"Sometimes people don't understand the impact of grief — grief is not something that is linear," Hassell said.
A survey by Talker Research found more than half of Americans do not understand the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. For military families, the meaning is something they live with year-round.
"We understand the value of being able to support those that might be left behind," Hassell said.
Frintner says behind every freedom Americans enjoy is sacrifice from service members and the families standing beside them.
"To respect all of them and their families for the ultimate sacrifice so we can have our freedoms," Frintner said.
As many spend this three-day weekend with family, friends, and at cookouts across Hampton Roads, veterans say it is also important to take a moment to remember the men and women who never made it home.
Click here to see how we use AI at WTKR News 3.
